"The drummer in our band, Nick, is legally deaf, and has been since he was born. But he can still hear low bass tones and feel the vibrations from the drums and other instruments. Honestly, he’s such an incredible drummer that most people don’t believe he’s deaf. Sometimes I can’t believe it myself."
Those inspiring lines come right out of a live chat conversation I had recently with Amber, one of our newest course members (she gave me permission to share this with you here). Amber is an ER nurse by profession, but moonlights as the lead singer in a renowned local jazz band in New Orleans on Friday and Saturday nights. And as you can tell, her drummer, Nick, is one of her greatest inspirations.
Later on in our chat session, Amber said, "You know, I hate to admit it, but I envy Nick. I really do! I mean, I know I could be almost as amazing as him, in so many walks of life, if I could just silence the voices in my head."
"What voices," I asked.
"You know, the voices constantly telling me that I’m not good enough, and that the naysayers are always right and I’m always wrong," - she said.
And as she got deeper into things, we ended up cutting our chat session short and jumping on the phone to flesh things out and get her thinking back on track.
But the truth is, she’s not the only one who feels this way. Over the past decade Marc and I have coached thousands of people from around the world, with vastly different lifestyles and socioeconomic backgrounds, and most of them suffer from the same exact self-limiting beliefs Amber does. So today, I want to share some of these with you – the three most common self-limiting beliefs we see our coaching clients and course members struggle with, time and time again (see if you can identify with any of them):
1. "Those haters are right about me."
Don’t let rude people ruin you. No matter how much negativity is thrown at you by others, there is absolutely no need for you to stay put and partake in the decay they choose for their own lives. YOU decide how your soul grows.
Because the truth is that what people say and do to you is much more about them, than you. People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, wounds and experiences. Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re the worst, again, is more about them. I’m not suggesting we should be narcissists and ignore all feedback. I am saying that so much hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives comes from our taking things personally. In most cases it’s far more productive and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinion of you, and to operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.
So stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own. Instead, imagine what would happen if you spent this entire day, and every day hereafter, with all your energy directed toward your most positive possibilities. Rather than being annoyed, be amused. Instead of getting angry, get away. Life is too short to argue, fight or be negative in any way. Count your blessings and move on from the drama with your head held high. (covered in the "Happiness & Positive Living" module of "Getting Back to Happy")
2. "It’s important that all my family and friends approve of my goals."
Most of us are not raised to actively seek our calling. We may not even know that we have one. As kids, we are seldom told we have a place in life that is uniquely ours alone. Instead, we are encouraged to believe that our life should somehow fulfill the expectations of others - that we should find our happiness exactly as they have found theirs.
Rather than being taught to ask ourselves who we are, we are trained to ask others for permission. We are, in effect, schooled to live other people’s versions of our lives. Every day is designed and developed as told to us by someone else. And then one day when we break free to survey our dreams, seeking to fulfill ourselves, we see that most of our dreams have gone unfulfilled because we believed, and those around us believed, that what we wanted for ourselves was somehow beyond our reach.
It’s time to unlearn these lies and make changes. It takes courage to grow wiser and become who you really are. And today is the first day of the rest of your life. (covered in the "Goals & Growth" module of "Getting Back to Happy")
3. "They can do it, but that doesn’t apply to me."
Just because someone else can, doesn’t mean you can, right? Because you’re not good enough, or you’ve missed your chance, etc. You look for reasons they can do it but you can’t - maybe he’s an internet entrepreneur or freelance writer because he has no kids. Maybe she’s way fitter than I am, so she can run a marathon. Maybe she doesn’t have all the work and family obligations I have, or has a supportive spouse, or doesn’t have bad knees.
OK, fine, it’s easy to find excuses: but look at all the other people who also have considerable obstacles and have done it anyway. Marc and I have a family, and have dealt with significant loss in our lives, and still managed to succeed on many fronts. And just as we’ve turned things around for ourselves, we know hundreds of other people who’ve done the same. Through a decade of life coaching, we’ve witnessed people reinventing themselves at all ages - 48-year olds starting families, 57-year-olds graduating from college for the first time, 71-year-olds starting successful businesses, and so forth. And stories abound of people with disabilities or illnesses who overcame their obstacles to achieve great things.
Your obstacles can be overcome!
Feeling stuck is a FEELING, not a fact. So never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are. Life changes, and so can you. It’s never too late to live a life that makes you proud. If you don’t learn anything else from this email, learn that. There’s no age limit on changing your course. (covered in the "Goals & Growth" module of "Getting Back to Happy")
And of course, if you're struggling with any of this, know that you are not alone. Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and get our lives back on track. This is precisely why Marc and I built “Getting Back to Happy.” The course is filled with time-tested steps on how to do just that. And I'm thrilled to let you know that the full Getting Back to Happy course is now OPEN again to 100 early access members.
Have we been sending you more emails than usual about this over the past several weeks?
YES! Because we’re closing the doors soon (once we hit 100 early early access members) and sometimes we need a little nudge to invest in ourselves.
This is not some ebook that you read and forget about. It's a revolutionary, self-paced online course and community with 60 HD video lessons, and hundreds of time-tested strategies and techniques that will teach you scientifically proven methods for Conquering Pain, Eliminating Insecurity, Beating Procrastination, Healing Toxic Relationships, Taming Life’s Complications, and Building Consistent Growth into Your Life and Career -- the exact proven strategies and techniques Marc and I have used in our coaching practice to help tens of thousands of people over the past decade.
It took 17 iterations, and thousands of dollars, to get it right.
These techniques work no matter where you stand in your current situation or what you’re up against going forward. Even if you have limited experience with self-improvement and personal development tactics. And even if you don't know what you really want for yourself…yet.
Learn How to Get Back to Happy
For a limited time the Getting Back to Happy (Early Access) course includes…
- >> New, Revolutionary online course and supportive community packed with 60 HD video trainings – includes hundreds of scientifically proven methods for getting back on track, and member-only discussion forums where you can discuss each lesson with Marc, me and other course members. All videos are mobile friendly for iPad/iPhone/Android for your commute -- so you can have an "invisible coach" every day.
- >> A full year of personalized email support (and phone support when needed) by Marc and me (not outsourced to someone else) – to make sure you’re getting the daily support you need to create the life you deserve.
- >> One hour of two-on-one Skype, FaceTime or phone coaching with both Marc and me (can be used whenever you're ready) – so we can help you with the course material, or any issue you need help with, face-to-face.
- >> Audio versions of all Getting Back to Happy course lessons – so you can listen and re-listen and learn on the go.
- >> Lifetime access -- If you need to "pause" the course for any reason -- like a vacation, wedding, whatever -- you can pick right back up. These materials are yours for life.
- >> A 100% money-back guarantee -- All of this completely protected -- risk-free -- for 30-Days. You can go through the course and THEN decide if it's right for you.
Get Started Now for Only $497
or 5 Easy Payments of $100
When you spread the cost out over 12 months – it's only $1.36/day.
You don't need to spend $15,000 on annual coaching (a realistic average) or even more on live seminars to get back to being...
Effective. Confident. Energetic. Successful. Connected. Clear-headed. Courageous. Attractive. Comfortable in your skin. Free from addictions and habits that hold you back. Free from toxic relationships. Propelled by a sense of purpose. Secure in your zone of inner, creative genius. Driven by your true potential to the point of realizing your dreams. Awakened to the positive changes you're making in your life and the lives around you on a major scale. Slim, trim, and uninterested in french fries.
Seriously, how many times have you wished these qualities would just wash over you, and that you'd wake up one day as an unstoppable version of YOU? That’s exactly what this course will do for you. In fact, this material is so valuable that when we gave our prior members the chance to join a few days early, dozens of them signed up immediately.
Again, the Getting Back to Happy course is officially OPEN FOR 100 EARLY ACCESS MEMBERS. If it feels like it may be a fit for you at all, do not delay. This invite is going out to 100K+ readers, and we love to have YOU as one of the early access members.
Don't wait to "figure it out" someday -- check out the details now.
May / June - 2017 Issue
Sign UP to receive articles. If you like what you see, subscribe!
2010 Jan/Feb issue
Tammy Erickson, Olympic Medalist
Hear publisher Joslyn Wolfe on
(click on 'Healthy living with Joslyn' in the Blog Talk Radio section)