by Wellness Editor
We all have things we wish we would have done differently. Many of us regret certain relationship faux pas that ended our time with loved ones too soon. Consider these 6 relationship regrets and how you can avoid them in the future...
1. Denying Your Partnerís Happiness
Relationships are not one sided. You canít be the only one whoís happy. You need to make sure your partner is happy as well. Denying your partnerís happiness is a surefire way to ruin the relationship; if itís all about you and what you want the relationshipís days are certainly numbered. Always consider and talk about your partnerís wants and needs.
2. Having Different Values
Have you ever started a relationship despite the fact that you and the other person had different values? Itís never wise to go into a new relationship already knowing that your values donít align. You need to be in agreement about the "big" things if you want the connection to grow in the right direction. Some areas that come to mind are children/parenting, finances, religion, and career.
3. Not Taking Your Partnerís Family Into Consideration
When you begin to get serious with someone you have to think about what your life would look like together. Your partnerís family is very much a part of that; not taking their family into consideration could get you into trouble down the road. If you donít get along with them now, that is not likely to change once you get married, unless you actively work on those relationships. You need to be "okay" with their family from the beginning if you want your relationship to thrive without constant and major family drama.
4. Not Expressing Your Feelings
Express your feelings regularly. Ask your partner to do the same. Thousands of relationship experts agree that open and honest communication is a major strength to any relationship. Make sure your partner feels loved and appreciated. Make sure YOU feel loved and appreciated; if you donít, say something. Not expressing feelings is one of the main reasons couples separate; they leave too many things unsaid and do not offer enough gratitude throughout the relationship.
5. Not Having Your Own Interests
Some couples become so wrapped up in each other that they no longer have time for anything or anyone else. Just because you care deeply about somebody doesnít mean you have to spend all your time together. Having your own interests and friends are important in a relationship because they allow the two of you to have some healthy time apart. Too few people get that nowadays, but itís extremely healthy for your relationship.
6. Letting the "What-Ifs" Control You
Too many of us let the ďwhat-ifsĒ in our relationships guide us. "What if he doesnít agree with me about this? I donít want him to be mad." "What if he doesn't like my friends?" "What if she gets upset because I want to spend time with my buddies?" Rather than letting these thoughts control you and possibly guide you towards a decision you wouldnít ordinarily make (or a decision YOU are not happy with), start thinking "What would happen if this actually works out?" And, as mentioned earlier, communicate. Instead of just thinking about these "what-ifs," talk about them, get them out in the open so there is no wondering about them.
Use these 6 common relationship regrets as a guide. Avoid them whenever possible. Maybe you can keep them posted on your refrigerator as a constant reminder for you and your partner. Theyíll help you steer your relationship where you want it to go. What other regrets do you think should be included on such a list, please share below.
July/August - 2018
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2010 Jan/Feb issue
Tammy Erickson, Olympic Medalist
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